This one if for you American Idol fans. I haven’t watched American Idol this season. In fact, I only ever watched one season, and I regretted it. But here’s what I can gather about the two finalists:

Kris Allen:
• The mayor of Conway, Arkansas gave him a key to the city.
• Has been a “worship leader” at the New Life Church in Arkansas.
• Put out a pre-Idol album called “Brand New Shoes”.
• Looks like a 13-year-old.
• Cheesy as hell.

Adam Lambert:
• The mayor of San Diego made May 8 “Adam Lambert Day”.
• Is ambiguously gay.
• Played Linus in a theatre production of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.
• Looks like Eddie Munster and/or a Vulcan.
• Cheesy as hell.

Happy voting, America!